Ghost

starllex:

*plays with tie nervously at job interview* 

"Sorry, I’ve never had a job interview and I’m nervous haha."

"That’s okay just please stop playing with my tie and sit on your side of the desk"

l4brys:

i wont rest until ive complained about everything

criminals-coronation:

lovelynobody00:

Am I the only one who noticed Scarlett Johansson was a man for half a second….
image

image

ohgodcantbreathe

plot twist: it’s jeremy renner 

lookit those arms

CANNOT UNSEE

(Source: a-study-in-jawn)

neptunain:

idea for a joke: “im not a racist” followed by a statement about how you prefer track and field events that do not involve running, such a javelin. it’s funny because “race” also means “a competition in which the fastest contestant wins”. very funny. a quality joke. execute with caution.

heart:

TAKE THIS ADVICE. NEVER FORGET TO BRING YOUR CHAPSTICK LIP BALM VASELINE WHATEVER YOU USE IF YOU EASILY GET DRIED LIPS. HAVE 10 EXTRAS IN DIFFERENT BACKPACKS OR PURSES. IT IS HELL GOING THROUGH A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT IT. I TELL YOU PLEASE

thewintersoldiersbutt:

deepdumb:

thewintersoldiersbutt:

art

i drew dis

stop tryna steak mah stuff. I am the creator of dis ok

thewintersoldiersbutt:

deepdumb:

thewintersoldiersbutt:

art

i drew dis

stop tryna steak mah stuff. I am the creator of dis ok

  • me: *touches elbows with a stranger on a shared armrest*
  • me: what are we

fray24472:

themazerunnerdaily:

(x)

he just sums up his life in 2 sentences 

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

mcmahonism:

the un are having a conference on gender equality and have only invited men like that was an actual joke on parks and recreation and now it has happened in real life

in case yall were doubting this to be true

knightscrest:

mcporno:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

whats the sleepiest mineral?

snORE

Ores and minerals are completely different things

dammit jim, im a comedian not a geologist

(Source: frightscrest)

icriedwhenbobbydied:

stunningpicture:

A rotten tomato that refused to leave the vine

nash grier

icriedwhenbobbydied:

stunningpicture:

A rotten tomato that refused to leave the vine

nash grier

senseis:

badgoku14:





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senseis:

badgoku14:

image

image

image

???????????

(Source: tibets)

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